Last Blog Post of the Year

okay last blog post of the year. been sick for the past three days.

tonsillitis came back again. doctor said i might have obstructive sleep apnea and maybe should go for and operation to remove my tonsils.

kk so been wanting to do many things since i came back from hong kong, but anyways, its all over >< haha

kk so my new year resolutions are:

1)to start losing weight :D
2)to start studying hard
3)to be not so crazy about kpop? else my results will suffer D:
4)to care more about the people around me
5)to remain close friends to those who i consider are (xuan ming, jolene goh, nick han, jasmine koh, jordan)

ok, thats all for now!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

Signing off,
Gwyn xD

LAZY~!!!!!

hi all, back from hong kong on mon, but been too lazy to blog since >< haha

lol. mayb i will start blogging soon but, for now is nothing much to say.

HAHA :D enjoy the remaining hols and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HOHOHO :)

OVERSEAS

HEY PEEPS!!!

IM GOING OVERSEAS SO DUN CALL.

ANY MESSAGE SMS OR LEAVE ON FACEBOOK!!!!

BYE!!! ^^

CO PRAC

so had a screwed co prac yesterday >< da zu some more D: haiz...seriously, shld send everyone to go learn performance etiquette and then go for conducting course to learn how conductors conduct, so that we can play better >< haiz..

want to help co, but then kena told shld not even try lar. haha but whocares, i'm still gonna give it a shot. at least i wont give up not trying. most people should know this by now. haha :D

anyways, hope that pracs for today, tmr and thurs will be good!!!!

JIAYOU VJCO!!!

HWAITING!!!

MVs that should have been posted as soon as they came out!!!

SNSD's HOOT!!!



T-ara's Why Are You Being Like This



T-ara's Yayaya



SISTAR's How Dare You



MBLAQ's Running & Running



that's all for now. hope the usaul readers like this :)

wasting my life away

someone told me i very long nvr update my blog already.

yup, so i gonna update now!!!! haha :D

so wednesday when to take vaccine for flu, then went swimming!!! cant believe that i still can swim lor haha :D onli thing is stamina a bit lousy onli. plus arms getting weaker, used to be able to swim freestyle onli with my arms, now still need use legs. >< i tink need to exercise already. haha :D

then spent the next two days studying and oso doing work, andof course watching tv and catching up on kpop news. :)

watching random vids these days. haha :D

Reflections

This post should have come in on Wednesday or so. sadly due to time constraints and other reasons, didnt post it.

So tuesday was my final concert with the SNYO. it was great and i would say oso my best concert by far, i think. it was mr. lim's last one too, so i guess it means a lot to me and oso many people. gonna miss those times when i make music and pratice with YO.

feeling a bit down after that but still suppressed it pretty well. the final practice and stuff before the concert really made me feel good!!! ^^ thanks to sipei, ben, alwyn, alvin, hua zhen, brigette and mian jun. thanks for making this last concert a great joy for me. hope you guys will do well in the future!!! hope to see yall soon too.

felt ike crying after seeing jas and kris cry after the concert, but i guessed there juz wasnt any tears to come out. hope kris and gab make it thru the assessments.

TO JAS!!! CHEER UP K? ANYTHING CAN COME TELL ME!!!!HAHA ^^

Long time

It's been a long time since I last blogged.>< many things happened lately :(

Assessment results are out. :( nothing good happened. Remember saying that I screwed up my assessments? No wait. I dun think I blogged abt tt. Anyway, i sort of remained in yo aka ys, while the others moved up to the new orchestra. I sort of expected the result already. What to do? Didn't really practice till like one week before the assessment. What else to expect when everyone else had an accompanist while i didn't? It's ok. Haha :D I accept if as it is. Haha :D la la la~

Computer died on Sunday. Haha. Died while I was copying stuff for my mum. Haha :D but it's ok. Because dad says that he might be buying a new computer. Haha :D

Went to listen to Berlin philharmonic on Monday. It was freaking awesome!!! ^^ haha :D now everything else sounds like crap haha ^^ also got inspiration to play better haha :D everything was good!!!^^

That's all for now haha

o.o

havnt posted in the past few days haha :D been lazy :)

been going to school early and spending time with nick and jas. >< its like they are my classmates now haha :D anyway, spent a whole day with them yesterday.

great things happened today. haha. after like 3 days in the sauna, thanks to the spoiled aircon in LT5 where all my lectures are, we gt LT4 for bio. LOVE THE AIRCON <3

then guo lao shi finally came for CO!!!! WOOHOO~!!!!!
played almost all the pieces, and went to percussion. seems to be getting back in touch with CO now!!! haha. i tink most ppl will be happy :)

ok so i tink tats all, havnt used com fo rth epast few days, and many songs are out D: have to spend time listening to them haha :D

going for berlin phil rehearsal on mon!!! ^^

its over, now is just the wait

hey yo!!!

many things took place within the past week: OP, I&R and also SNYO assessments

went for assessments today, felt that i screwed up, and didnt play well. i tink its over for me already D: but what can i do? just wait and see lor. hope that GOD answered my prayers.

anyway its like Too Late

PW's GOING GOING....not so gone

OP's finally over. It went well for me, thanks to other people that helped. hope it went well for you guys too...

now all that's left is I&R and of course, YO assessments on monday D: gng to do other things now bye :)

i'm going...

This song never makes you sick of it!!! ><

la la la-

heard this on radio today...thought it was quite nice



on a side note, if u see this, rest assured that i m fine (: dun worry :) i wont cry or emo!!!

haha...tats all i tink >< OP in 5 days!!!! Assessment in 8 days!!!!!

Back...

Last posted on tuesday...really busy and messed-up these few days. Really don't know what to do or how to do. But I think I should just try my best to clear everything. Even though the result will not be good, but nonetheless, I just don't want to lose a very close and good friend of mine. Not sure if you will see this, but I am guessing you wont. But anyway, hope that we can still remain friends. And hope that there will not be any negative feelings between us.

Anticipation

asked my friends to help me do something today >< not sure if it went well.

but oh well, it's over. all i can do now is to wait and see. haha :D

hope i will one day bring myself to say it...but god knows when that will be D: hopefully its in the near future :)

hope they didn't do much and also, hope that i can do well....

that's all, cant think of much to post about...

I & R

PW sucks!!!! coz of the stupid I & R and all the other stuff that requires us to write ><>< mind block!!!!

nevermind, gonna go clear my head by drinking haha :D :D

LA LA LA~

more!!!!

Aquarius Positive Traits Friendly and humanitarian Lively, Honest and loyal Original and inventive Independent and intellectual Like to be different

Aquarius Negative Traits Intractable and contrary Perverse and unpredictable Unemotional and detached Chaotic and rebellious

Aquarius Compatibility Section AQUARIUS goes with Libra, Gemini, Sagittarius and Aries. (Best match is Libra) Known to be intelligent and entertaining, these extroverts are also known to be of a trusting nature and very loyal partners. Although they do not like to show their real feelings, they are no at ease when it comes to the romantic aspects of love. Aquarians are naturally straight forward people, but they are also very unpredictable. Difficulty in handling their emotions as well as other peoples emotions make them come across as ignoring their partners feelings and emotions. Nevertheless, they are supportive and faithful when in the right relationship. They are very independent and do not like being tied down. With very firm views and opinions, aquarians can quickly change to obstinacy and stubbornness when riled up. Regardless of this, they are supportive and faithful when in the right relationship. When in a committed relationship, they value their "me" time, and require above average amounts of privacy. (Read more about this on the Aquarius love page.) Best Match For Aquarius Is Aquarius Superlative match. This truly amazing match could not be more harmonious. They naturally understand one another. Things that would bewilder, baffle and rattle others, they are in complete understanding. These two are the torch bearer’s of human dignity. These two will have a pleasant life together. Yes, happily every after! Worst Match For Aquarius is Taurus Look for a shock when expecting peace and harmony in this union. With the unpredictable Aquaria, life may be too challenging for the all too easy going Taurus. Taurians conservative habits will before long get under the skin of the high strung, dynamic Aquarius. Both signs love comfort and east, but their wide divergence of views lends a problem as to how to obtain them. And as to the Aquarians unwillingness to share secrets, this will not be taken kindly to by the Taurian. Both should shop around a bit more before taking this leap. Aquarius and Heartbreak Aquarius are known to be the spirits. They are strongly independent and despise the feeling of being tied down or held back. When provoked, their firm views and opinions quickly change to acts of stubbornness. Aquarians are sensitive when it comes to love and will notice the slightest inattention. They are also eccentric and may become snobbish sometimes displaying no emotion and maintaining a consistently impassive front. With marriage and or partnership problems, Aquarians would do well to study the basic qualities of those whom they choose as their life partners. Much discontent, disillusionment and heartaches can be avoided by doing so.

Aquarius Positive Traits Very independent in their thinking, friendly by nature, original and creative thinking, friendly humanitarians who are typically rational, loyal and idealistic. They tend to be very willing and highly inventive. Aquarius Negative Traits Being somewhat rebellious and eccentric they can be unpredictable and contrary in their actions. Signs of lack of tact, stubbornness, contrariness expose them as being emotionally oblivious. Aquarius Personality Profile The Aquarius person tends to be hard to define in personality as it frequently changes. One moment an Aquarian is expressive, interesting and active and can unexplainably become very moody and uncaring. Their serious side tends to stir to moodiness. Aquarians, when you meet them seem to be remarkable people. They display good manners. Their charming and tend to make an overall good impression however they can also become very obstinate and self-willed. They tend to have a great sense of adventure about them. Aquarians tend be extremely sensitive and therefore get their feelings hurt a lot. They may show a temper ranging from hurt feelings to extreme anger although this is usually short lived. You might say that dependent upon immediate circumstances, they are over reactive regarding temperament. Aquarius Health Concerns This Zodiac sign tends to have an overall propensity for good health. They have strong constitutions but must be ever vigilant in guarding against their very emotional nervous system. They need to guard against poor eating habits and excesses of all kinds. It is important that Aquarians learn early on what tends to work for them in their diet. It is paramount that Aquarians exercise to maintain a strong fitness level. Since this sign rules the ankles and calves, a good exercise regimen can help avoid weakness in these areas. Aquarians are fond of sports and conditioning needs to be a routine, not an occasional happenstance. Aquarians Tend to Display Extraordinary Memories They display an ability to learn things easily. They tend to be very intuitive and even though they may forget one’s name, they will remember other details about those they meet. Internally they are satisfied just being aware of tings they know are letting it go at that. Here Are Some Interesting Aquarius Facts:  Ruling planets are Uranus and Saturn  Deep Red is primary color  Birthstone is Garnet  Lucky day is Wednesday  Lucky numbers are 8 and 4  Lucky colors are pastel blue and green  Best location for success is large cities The Aquarius Sun Sign – Zodiac Sign Information The constellation Aquarius represents the eleventh Zodiac sign. According to Greek mythology, various myths are associated with Aquarius such as the Egyptian God Hapi whose water jugs poured into the Nile. The Greek mythology is linked with Prometheus who stole fire from Zeus to perpetuate enlightenment. Uranus was slain then castrated by his son Cronus after being locked up in the underworld One of the most friendliest people you will find, The Aquarius sun sign is the one you can count on to stand by your side and comfort you when you are feeling blue. They are good listeners, and care deeply for their friends. To people they are not close to however, they can be somewhat detached. These are lively people, very inventive and enjoy being original. Aquarians always seem :out of step" with the rest of the world, this is due to their ever striving to be different. Anything goes with them, and sometimes they can be considered quite eccentric. Funny thing is aquarians are happy to be eccentric! Although it can be somewhat difficult to get close to aquarius, this sign is know as "fixed" so that means if you do succeed in getting close, they will be loyal and faithful. Aquarius can be unpredictable The aquarius personality tends to be chaotic and unpredictable, sometimes stubborn and rebellious even to the extremes of cranky and perverse. (this are rare negative traits). This sign, a person that is totally dedicated to being unconventional, tends to remain in a rigid unrecognizable pattern when conducting their daily life. Aquarius is also a zodiac sign that can become detached to the point of coldness, making it hard for us ordinary "mortals" to understand them. Aquarius people tend to not really care what others think of them, or the world for that matter. This is a sun sign that likes to live (sometimes) in isolation. Aquarius people are often humanitarians Aquarian's personality can be (as mentioned above) detached and impersonal, but aquarians also have a deep concern over the well being of others. A progressive reformer, this sign has lots of humanitarian ideals, but these can seem vague, causing them to earn a reputation for keeping their heads in the clouds. You can also count on this astrological sign to be loyal and trust worthy. Very seldom if ever, will they give into temptations that would betray a loved one. The aquarius sun sign is true blue and loyal. They are one of the first to sign up to server their country, and will give their lives defending her. They can be counted on to come up with original ideas. They make good designers and inventors as well as musicians. These intellectuals excel in the arts as well as the technical trades. The Aquarius Child Aquarius children tend to be shy and laid back. A sharp contrast to their adult counterparts. The enjoy being alone sometimes to an extreme degree, they tend to be withdrawn and isolated. They are full of affection, with a loving and kind disposition. They are usually obedient to loved ones, and will give in for the sake of peace and harmony. Aquarius, being an intellectual sign, means these children have active minds. They can be persistent and quite helpful at times when they are needed the most. The most negative thing about the Aquarius child is probably their tendency to worry. It is advised to keep them away from worrisome adults, as these people will cause them to worry more, and might set a bad example. Prone sometimes to poor blood circulation, the aquarius child needs an orderly life to avoid this and other illnesses. The best thing for them is harmonious surroundings. Aquarius children are also prone to these illnesses: Blood poisoning, anemia, nervous disorders, swollen ankles and various other nerve related illnesses. Here are some interesting Aquarius facts: Ruling planet is URANUS TURQUOISE is the primary color Birthstone is Garnet or Amethyst Lucky numbers are 8 and 4 Lucky colors are Blue and Green in pastel shades Best places for success are bust places and large cities

from: http://www.astrology-insight.com/aquarius.htm

my horoscope-aquarius

Aquarius About Your Sign...

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.

Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.

They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.

Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.
They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.

Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.
Possible Health Concerns...
As Aquarius is said to govern the legs from knees to ankles and the circulation of blood, its natives are susceptible to ailments particularly in the legs and ankles, such as cramps, and are also liable to spasmodic and nervous complaints, as well as wind, catarrh, diarrhea, dropsy, goiter and delirium tremens - so that the avoidance of alcohol is important for those Aquarians who have a taste for it.

horoscopes

* LIKES Fighting for Causes
* Dreaming and Planning for the Future
* Thinking of the Past
* Good Companions
* Having Fun

* DISLIKES Full of Air Promises
* Excessive Loneliness
* The Ordinary
* Imitations
* Idealistic


PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE FOR YOU, AND THEIR SOLUTIONS

As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As an Aquarius you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive.

Problem: Being left all alone while others enjoy the companionship you long for.
Solution: You should practice expressing your humanity by accepting people the way they are and not find too much fault in them.

Problem: You always seem to miss the boat when it comes to love.
Solution: Try letting down the mental guard that you keep on your emotions that stops you from being the self you long to be.

Problem: You always seem to miss out on the better jobs or big promotions at work.
Solution: Learn to use your positive side in teamwork and group effort, the lone wolf approach will get you nowhere.

Problem: You seem to become physically ill more than you should.
Solution: By repressing your emotions you drive the unrest deep inside where it can cost you in terms of health. Express your feelings but do it with tact.


Your ruling planet is URANUS
.Your ruling planet is Saturn!


Mean distance from the Sun(AU) 19.218
Sidereal period of orbit(years) 84.01
Equatorial radius(km) 25559
Polar radius(km) 24973
Body rotation period(hours) 17.24
Tilt of equator to orbit(degrees) 97.92
Number of observed satellites 15


Some more interesting facts about your sign:

The symbol associated with your sign is the water bearer, it is symbolic of the Gods nourishing the earth with life giving energies. One of the first to be called the water bearer was the Greek God Zeus in mythology.


The color of choice for Aquarius is TURQUOISE


TURQUOISE

The beautiful Turquoise is your starstone.
The name comes from the French "turquoise", which means "Turkey" as in the original localities in Persia (today Iran). Since before 4000 BC Turquoise has been used and coveted. It can be pure in color or may contain secondary minerals. If the matrix forms a pattern of interlocking polygons it is called "spider-web" turquoise.

from :http://www.astrology-online.com/aquarius.htm

nothing

PW's sapping my life and brain away!!!

but thanks to someone, i still feel alive and refreshed. (:

haha :D feeling bored nw!!! la la la~

FANBOY!!!!!!!

ok, so the past two days have been a great time for me!!! My girls are back!!! SNSD!!!!!!

haha...totally leaving the fanboy life now!!!! ><

here are the mv, and mubank performance





on a side note, i guess i just have to wait and see...haha :D but i hope u do realise it (:

REGRET?

had co prac today...haha..felt really great about today's prac, dun kno y, haha, mayb someone knows? haha :D

anyway, told two or three people abt some stuff today :D it's really really personal :D oh!!!, to the two whom i told together, please just forget about it >< i dun tink its true anyway haha :D

talking to XM, who then told me tt i had to go for test?! to confirm it...haha

so nw, i will just think of it as being who i am...

OMG!!!!!! I REALLY CAN'T KEEP THIS IN ANYMORE!!!!! I WAN TO SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE!!!!! but it might affect that person D:

many people say its very very super super obvious >< but then you don't get it D: despite the various hints given...

haha...anyways, i guess i should wait, see how things go!!!

OMG!!!!, i'm guessing you might read this, but i dun care, i like you!!!! haha :D

I am INVISIBLE!!!

Yet another day when I am treated as an invisible. Seriously, it’s like no matter how loud I am, or how much I spam and play wrong notes, you just don’t seem to notice my existence. Am I really that inaudible to you? I mean come on dude…I play such a loud instrument don’t tell me your eyes can’t hear. Yew, I know some might say that it is too low pitched, but guys, there are times when I do play in the higher register…confirm is audible to those ears who are not accustomed to the low pitch notes.

Seriously this is making me pissed!!! Come on… when you sped like a bullet train during practice and finally had to stop, as no one was able to play…you only recognized W’s ability, what about the others who could catch up? Me? Or B? Do you only care about W? Or you really can’t hear me?

Seriously, I see no point in me going for practices if I don’t even get a teeny weensy itsy bit of recognition. I mean I understand that I MUST go for practices, but then, what’s the point if you don’t get recognized? Like not even a single moment of eye contact between us? Really, I understand that it’s your first time, I mean it’s your umpteenth time doing this…I think it’s about time you know the importance of eye contact. You play in another orchestra, I’m very sure you receive eye contact from the conductor? So, learn and apply it. It will help to allow players to feel recognized, and help in understanding of each other.

At least I know that someone understands how I feel, which is really really great, coz then I do not need to keep everything to myself.

Wonder how practice was after the section lost their tanker >< hope it finally lead to some recognition?

Had PW today, everything’s going well!!!! Really really happy!!!!

I SHALL ATTEMPT TO BE HAPPY AND FAKE A SMILE AND NOT LET YOU PUT ME DOWN!!!

MV IN 3D!!!!!!!

my beloved girls are back!!!! ^^ haha :D

today

had the university panel talk today...pretty boring on the large part, but at least found something that i m interested in....

NTU degree for chinese medicine....

guessed i sort of see myself far from CO again...haha

seeing u guys walking past my class while i sat with my classmates, i realised that what i used to be pretty close to, is now so near yet so far...

a senior once told me that i shld strike a balance between cca and class, i told her i didnt need that, guess i was wrong...

OMG!!!! and i cant believe my mum's sixth sense!!! >< haha

aft uni talk went to see watches and buy katong laksa!!!

finally found my banana leaf nasi lemak at last!!!!

delicious lunch lor!!!

kk gtg do powerpoint for OP alr!!!

here's a song worth listening to - Heart Vacancy

I hear your heart cry for love,
But you won’t let me make it right.
You were hurt, but I decided,
That you were worth the fight.
Every night, you lock up,
You won’t let me come inside.
But the look in your eyes,
As I can turn the tide.

In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
I can tell you can fit one more.
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
I don’t care who was there before.

I hear your heart call for love,
Then you act like there’s no room.
Room for me, or anyone,
“Don’t disturb” is all I see.
Close the door, turn the key,
On everything that we could be.
If loneliness would move out,
I’d fill the vacancy.
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart.

This ain’t the Heartbreak Hotel,
Even though I know it well.
Those no shows, they sure tell,
In the way you hold yourself.
Don’t you fret, should you get,
Another cancellation.
Give me a chance I’d make a,
Permanent reservation.

In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
I can tell you can fit one more.
Open up make a brand new start,
I don’t care who’s stayed before.

I hear your heart call for love,
Then you act like there’s no room.
Room for me, or anyone,
“Don’t disturb” is all I see.
Close the door, turn the key,
On everything that we could be.
If loneliness would move out,
I’d fill the vacancy.
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart.

When I, talk to you, on the phone,
Listen close.

I hear your heart call for love,
Then you act like there’s no room.
Room for me, or anyone,
“Don’t disturb” is all I see.
Close the door, turn the key,
On everything that we could be.
If loneliness would move out,
I’d fill the vacancy.
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart.

sucky day!!!!

So I juz finished my dinner aft 1hr!!!! lik the longest dinner ever can?! So I cried twice today!!!!

MY GOD!!!! Which guy ever cries twice in a day, within a short span of 1 hr!!!! It’s like ever since I came to VJ, life hasn’t been the way I wanted it to be. It’s like nothing is going the way I want it to… everyone’s gonna call me a sissy nw…

But really I cry only when I am freaking stressed and there is no place for me to let it all out. D: it‘s just been a stressful 2 weeks for me.

So someone asked me to think about why I am detached from my CCA. I promised that I will answer it.

This question made me ponder for quite a while. It made me think about myself as a person, and also how I am perceived and how I see others. I don’t mean to be judgmental or say names.

I am the sort of person who can’t take criticisms, mild still can, but not too much… I tend to think more about what people say, trying to decipher the meanings, and also, I am able to sometimes see what u really want to say, or want me to say. I dislike people who don’t understand the situation or the circumstances, and start commenting on me or what…

It makes my blood BOIL!!!! I have been trying to control my temper for a long time, I don’t know when the volcano will erupt, but I hope it doesn’t.

kk. so why am I detached from CO? erm, how about coz I didn’t really attend any of the outings, missed millions of dinners. I mean I am a DSA student, so I am supposed to be quite close to u guys, but what happened? Asking myself truthfully, I guess I just feel undervalued? Lik I chose CO cause, believe me, u had the strongest bass section in all three performing arts groups. I taught that I will get some or little recognition during practices, that was the impression I gt frm during my auditions. Wat do I get nw? erm nt trying to be harsh, but I feel that u dun even need me at all…trust me on this, I kno when u really dun need me…I hav my own ways to test it out… that is when I realized this. To tell the truth, I once felt this way in cat high too…juz that I kept it really well. I tested it, and it was true, the bass were nt heard and needed…but finally I gt recognized…

This really sucks…I dun know what to do…can u please advice?

Practices are nw like a chore to me…it has nvr been this way b4…in rosyth CO, cat high CO…I mean we were able to do a lot of stuff…do our own things, have unlimited breaks, joke about and things…but nw? prac and prac and prac, wat else? Cant do my own things… now only one person understands how I feel…happy abt tt…at least someone understands me.

U know wat!!! I havnt been able to practice my stuff and skills like before…I feel myself getting suckier by the minute…

To someone, u told me before, that u will take my comments and opinions and use it to better urself, have u done that? Ask urself. I dun mean to sound angry or wat, but I am guilty of that too…but at least I know that I try to accept them and change, but do u? ask urself.

Ok been typing this for an hour, time to end…

STAY STRONG GWYN!!!! YOU WILL PERSERVERE THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME!!!!

DUN LET TIS KILL YOU OR MAKE YOU STRESSED!!!!!

HWAITING!!!!!

SMILE GWYN SMILE!!!! :D :D :D :D

thoughts for the day

so PW WR due tmr...lik good that it is over YIPPEE!!!!! but then there's still OP D: lik haiz....

CO prac today, was great, coz like the double basses had our own sectionals which i feel was much much better, than practising with the cellos...lik cant even hear ourselves can? haha :D

anyway, this time my secret shall nt exceed more then my 2 hands can count...it's now on 8 for those who want to know. i tink it's eight, but if i do remember more, i tink it's too bad for the others, haha :D nt gonna tell u guys anymore.

let me see...f,x,t,h,n,o,j,a,j...oh, it's 9 people alr...sad, i nt gonna tell anyone else alr...haha :D wat to kno go guess urself...

kk...that's all for today, gna go sleep soon, i mean eat SUSHI!!!! then lik tink abt wat to do during the FOUR PERIOD break tmr...oh oh gonna start new lecture on econs, abt world trade D: hope i understand it...

got bac all my results alr...promoting to J2 with no tie downs, i will help those that need help though. haha :D

War is over...ended by the people who started it (:

alright peeps!!!! so war in my family is coming to an end...hopefully, if nothing goes wrong, it should be over. (: kk...so why i say it's over? coz i hav gt bac some of my own stuff that gt taken away during the war time...

my psp, and msn and the com!!!! all i can finally use...though nw nt as freely as before, but it's better than none. :)

so getting bac GP tmr, hope that i pass...else i'm screwed...even though i passed my other subjects...

gt a sexy voice, which mutated into a sore throat, and god knows what it will mutate into tmr...talking abt tis reminds me of AVP:Requiem. watched it last nite >< mutation FTW!!!! the hybrid was awesome!!!! but the way they killed humans -pucks-

alright tats enough for nw, hope to tell u guys more soon. (: take care peeps, weather's HOT HOT HOT these few days!!! drink up people!!! DRINK UP!!!!

oh...how i wish it snows in s'pore :)

don't know...

ok...havnt posted in the past two days due to some stupid stuff, that i only told a few people... D: dun even remind me about it...

kk...results have all come back except for GP...passed everything so far (: still gonna study though.

realli would like to thank a few people for helping me during the past two days which was quite hard for me...

firstly is Jolene, for letting me pour out everything and also doing something haha :D
secondly is xuanming and fabian, thanks for telling me how to act and stuff.
thirdly is nick han, thx man, didnt kno we are the same now!!! haha :D talk more often!!!

anyway, warning in advance, postings will not be so frequent due to stuff and also, this blog might close down if it gets found out by parents, so will keep u guys posted on the outcome, if it shuts down, will get someone to help me tell u guys. for now, just keep coming back here!!! :D

signing off, the GWYN!!!

Results

gt bac 2 papers today D: bio and econs...there goes my h3...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dun kno wat else to post....

nvm....

anyway, i hope you will remain well and happy, do know tt i will still be around to help if u need help, and also, next time wat to tell me things, juz sae haha :D i can take it (: so no need to worry...

do b happy, while we walk down the path of life, even though not together. :)

Running

so i tried running just now. like literally ran!!!!

ran for 3 rounds, it didnt get better...the feeling's still there. D: how do i get it to go away? even i dun kno how to explain to people.

had dinner with a heavy heart...trying hard to put up a false smile infront of my parents lest they start suspecting again...

i will try to keep everything to myself, not let history repeat, and put a smile on my face, and help people smile

some thoughts

hey peeps, tmr will b the start of a new school week. D: kicking it off...is some relationship workshop... like why do we need that? lols.

kk...so i blogged coz i was feeling weird..lik gt tis urge to feel sad, then wan talk to someone but then no one to talk to (i sound lik a loner D:)even if hav, talk a bit then stop alr D: haizz....

so after some thinking through, i hav decided to just pour them here.

i realised that i am the sort of person, to run away upon getting into a rough patch. tis was clearly evident during the period of open house. i clearly escaped CO, and went to strings, flashing a MUCH MUCH BIGGER smile in strings than in CO.

i dun kno y, but i feel lik i should hav gone to strings, instead of CO...i nw hear ppl calling me a traitor...who cares peeps...u dun appreciate me, then dun bother complaining. I WOULD RATHER BE WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW MY TRUE VALUE.

so i really really feel lik going bac to tis time las yr or mayb earlier, and making the decision once again. haiz...D: who knew life would play u around lik tis?

really really tired of this thing, hope that strings calls me to help again ^^ really really like to play for them, as bassists are IMPORTANT!!!! not lik in CO...solo also gt people wan to OUTPLAY u.

realli realli wish to shout but no place of output >< and realli...i feel tired by the strom in my heart and mind D: please just stop and calm down.

sudden feeling

dun kno why, but suddenly after pw meeting, on the way home on my own, with tis song playing on my mp3, i had the realli really heart-wrenching feeling...i dun kno how to explain, but i guess it's yet the time for me to tak things slowly and think about what i want in the future.

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (uh)
down that road (road)
Will she come back? (Uh)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

I was at the top and now its like I'm in the basement
Number 1 spot, Now she find her a replacement
I swear now I can't take it
Knowing somebody's got my baby

Now you ain't around, baby I can't think
I shoulda put it down, shoulda got that ring
Cuz I can still feel it in the air
See her pretty face, run my fingers through her hair

My lover, my life, My shawty, my wife
She left me, Im tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (Yeah)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

When I be ridin
man I swear I see your face at every turn
trying to get my usher on but I can't let it burn
And I just hope that she notice she the only one I yearn for
No more will I be missing, will I learn?

Didn't give her all my love
I guess now I got my payback
Now im in the club thinking all about my baby
HEY, she was so easy to love
But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough
I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone
Now I'm wishing she would pick up the phone
But she made a decision that she wanted to move on
Cause I was wrong.

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
Now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything
X2

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...
X2

PW outing!!!!

spent the whole of today pw-ing haha :D it was great fun!!!!

we spent lik 30 mins trying to find a place, before we settled for dome at bishan cc.

a while into the project discussion, we saw someone, we went into hiding >< haha...

then we discussed for 5 mins before, we went to talking about where to go for lunch haha :D

in all, we finished the project before our target time of 6.30...lik WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY before...

we had great fun suaning each other, and playing games haha :D

TIRED

today was like one of my best days in school. haha.

was supposed to be holiday, but guess what, spent the whole day running between two CCAs. :D
helping both strings & CO for teh performance tomorrow. (: hope both will be good performances.

so tomorrow is farewell assembly for the J2s. and of course OPEN HOUSE!!!!!

really really tired coz of shuffling between two CCAs, and also, other stuff lor...

I really really cant bear to see people around me waste themselves away lor...
it saddens me.....but i cant do a thing about it...
guess will juz hav to juz watch and be a spectator lor...

oh and to whoever it may concern, i m currently having very very messy links and thoughts in my mind...dun kno wat is happening in there, but hope tt we can remain talking to each other, even though its I that is really the problem...

Thoughts

YIPPEE!!!!! promos are officially over...should start preparing for R papers :D

Ok..so one day after promos…spent it at home D:

Morning was spent trying to not go for CO practice after like knowing that Thursday is full day of practice D:

Then I practiced the piano. First time in like almost a year?! Haha. Skills greatly like shit were still there. (:

Afternoon was spent sitting in the polyclinic for 3+ hours, just to wait to see the doctor, to get referral for X-ray D: TOTAL WASTE OF TIME

Wanted to talk to Jolene, but dun kno how to…coz I dun really kno what to say…scared say already she feel worse D: then I will feel bad D:

Want to help but dun kno how…ever get the feeling before?

So hardcore CO practices starts tomorrow, looks like I will the tanker AGAIN (as always for the bass section) who cares I tink I am gonna slack

I dun care what other members of CO gonna say, I think that I am juz like some extra guy in CO lor…lik juz in my section coz I produce the volume that they need and the experience that they want.

I mean lik today I was at the polyclinic, then they had all this posters about the mind of depressed people…I think I am one of them lor…

Lik everyday blame themselves, say they useless, then no point living, and start to keep to themselves, and other things lor.

So I see some of this in myself…

I mean I feel that I am juz not my usual self anymore. I dun tell my ‘brothers’ about my stuff. I juz keep them to myself, emo on my own, any problem solve on my own. Maybe is coz many things happened and changed me in JC. I juz am nt that cheerful alr.

Everyday take bus plug in earphone, emo on my own…

I don’t know, maybe the emotions and other things are catching up with me again.

I haven’t solved them…juz merely ran faster than them. Some will say that its juz that promos have made me stressed, but I know myself better than anyone. THIS IS NOT STRESS.

Looks like I will be on my own, as everyone is busy with their own stuff.

Bro having EOYS, wish him all the best.

Gonna emo on my own already >< maybe its juz time for me to straighten out my thoughts and give myself a break.